12/18 Gotcha Day Reflections

First let me say thank you for visiting. It has been difficult to find the time to post but now I will hopefully be able to catch up on things. It couldn't be more wonderful here and we are having the time of our lives with our precious little girl.

I'll mention a few things and then go back and catch up. Our daughter is known by about 3 names: Hai Zhen, Pian Pian and Zhen Zhen. Since we have chosen to call her Jen (same pronunciation as her Chinese name but with an American spelling), we can now add Jen Hope to the list. Depending on her mood and ours, we are using most of them interchangeably. Pian Pian is the nickname given to her by the orphanage and it means essentially "side sleeper". Last night I wanted some better rest so I took Jen's roll away bed and she slept with Kristy in the king size bed. Kristy turned on the light to show me the proof that Jen is indeed a side sleeper. She was perpendicular to the pillows with her feet against Kristy's side most of the night.
We know that her best friend and bed mate's sweet personality must have taken it all in stride sleeping with Pian Pian all those years.

Jen took what may have been her first bathtub bath tonight and she was so excited. The Cantonese kept bubbling out which was a joy to hear. If ever a child wanted to be adopted, it is our Hai Zhen. She has bonded with us and is now calling us Momma and Daddy. We have spent the last few days playing in the room...pillow fights, Uno, Go Fish and more pillow fights. We mailed her a teddy bear with clothes in November and she was holding it on adoption day. We brought pajamas for it and every night at bedtime she changes the bear's clothes along with her own. Tonight for the first time, she answered the question, "What is your bear's name?" She has named it "Shuma"... we don't know what it means yet but will find out in time. That bear has been a great thing. It was a bridge between us when we were in the US and she loves it dearly already.

We are having image posting problems again. The website is unaccessible in China but I can post with mixed results. Will get some more on the site as soon as possible.

Before I catch you up on things, I wanted to go back and reflect on Monday (Gotcha Day).

At 7am on Monday, we went down to breakfast and sat once again overlooking the Pearl River -- contemplating what would happen in a few hours. I stared blankly thinking about Jen as she was making her way from the orphanage which is 2 hours down river from Guangzhou. She was leaving the orphanage for the last time and couldn't even imagine how difficult this all must be for her.

As we sat quietly, a lady at the table next to us was feeding a Chinese infant. Eager to talk, she apologized for disturbing our quiet moment. When we told her we were just a few hours from meeting our daughter, she excitedly told us her story. Her daughter was from central China and had pneumonia. She was in the pediatric field so she was handling that OK. The conversation was encouraging and we were glad to meet someone who shared our feelings. She said she would pray for us as we met Jen. Back in the hotel room, we were literally pacing the floor and Kristy's heart was racing. She said she had never been that nervous and it had been many years since I felt anything like that. At times in the process, we felt like we were jumping out of the plane without a parachute because as others have said, adoption (and parenthood in general) is a leap of faith. You don't know what you are getting...we had a 1 yr old photo and a two word description of her personality. There are so many unknowns...you just have to leap.

Anyway, those last moments were maybe something like standing outside a delivery room. The nerves, the anticipation, the apprehension, the joy...all rolled into one.

We have already written about what happened next when we met Jen. But here is a thought we wanted to share for others who might consider adoption. If you believe God has called you to it and that He is in it, then don't be afraid to take that step. Our story was a little unusual -- first time parents adopting a 10 yr old. It didn't fit the pattern and that was a source of some heartache for us along the way. We were stepping into some unknown territory without meaning to. There was a point in the process when we had to make a blod step and I remember crossing Lake Woodlands after work one day crying out to God saying, " I will not let her go unless you make me let her go". It was a desperate moment. I had been thunderstruck with Jen and was holding on with all my might to the hope of bringing her home to us.

It was maybe 5 days later that we made the decision to adopt her. The next day, I called Kristy one last time before calling the agency. There would be no turning back from then on. I called the agency and took a walk along the canal by the building where I work. And as I walked along, I could see in mind's eye the vision of a little girl skipping along in front of me. It was then I knew for certain that this decision had been a no brainer from the start. Our heart had always been to give a home to a child who needed one. Jen was the one who needed it and that would become so very evident once we got her.