1/2 The rainbow's end

Since we last wrote, our little Dorothy clicked the heels of her red slippers and has made it home at last. Since we had trouble posting pictures in China and finding the time to share our experiences with you, we are planning to finish the blog in the next few days. We want to tell you the rest of the story and share some pictures of Jen. We hope you enjoy it....

In the past several days, I have been thinking a lot about rainbows. When I look at Jen, wonderful thoughts about rainbows come to mind. I can't help but think of Dorothy and The Wizard of Oz and her singing about that land somewhere over the rainbow. As you know, Dorothy makes it all the way to Oz only to discover that there is no place like home. It is just a children's story but the message is powerful...

In this troubled world, it is amazing to me that there can still be a "somewhere over the rainbow" kind of experience for a child. A child who longed for a different life in a different place was given that gift. Can you imagine longing to have a mother and father for 10 long years only to have it happen one day? All the care and love that the orphanage provided could never fulfill that longing. And now, in a twinkling of an eye, she has gone from orphan to daughter.

Just as with every child and in every life, there will be sunshine and rainclouds ahead. But for now we are basking in the glow of the rainbow which stood at Jen's feet and led her over to a new life and a new world with us. Adoption is the gift that says to a child, "You are a person of worth, you matter, you are loved and your life has meaning and purpose. You are dear to us."

Jen has found like so many others that be it ever so humble, there is no place like home...there is no place like home.

12/27 The Pearl River

The Pearl River flows by our hotel as I have said and in some ways it is symbolic of the China that we have seen during our visit. Actually, we haven't seen China. Instead we have seen a small corner of big city (~12 million) in the midst of a vast country. But from what we have seen, China, like the Pearl River, is on the move.

It is a mix of old and new here. There are at least 3 Chinas it seems and maybe 4 or more. There is rural China with its 700 million farmer/peasants that we didn't see. There is the inner city of China which we have caught glimpses of and that represents millions upon millions more. Then there is the China that looks and acts much like the West. We have seen that mostly in the young people. I suppose you could drop many of these folks right down in Houston's Galleria mall and they would not feel out of place. Cell phones, trendy clothes and fashion are all the rage here among the young. We have come half way around the world to be reminded that people are the same wherever you go -- the same hopes, the same dreams. We may speak differently and eat different food but we are part of the same world. The Olympic theme for Beijing 2008 is "One World...One Dream"-- that kind of sums up what I am saying. There is much of China that I have enjoyed. The Chinese are physically fit and active -- you see people of all ages playing the equivalent of Hacky Sack using a feathered, weighted thing instead of a bean bag. You see the older people doing their daily exercises in public places. A soldier asked me to take a picture of him and his family at the garden. His smile and the kindness in his eyes made me see again that people are just people. I thought I should be afraid -- but he was just out for a day of sightseeing with his family. We were from two worlds but for a brief moment we were just two people sharing a pleasant moment in a beautiful place.

12/27 Reflections on our journey

We have a few days left here in Guangzhou before we pack up for the long journey home.
Jen is doing very well and we are begin to learn more about her as her personality is emerging.
She continues to be a thoughtful child and is expressing affection toward us on her own. Now that she has made the initial adjustment to us, we are learning to make the adjustment of being parents. Out of necessity, our initial relationship to her has been almost like playmates since we have so many barriers to cross. Besides great fun, activities like pillowfighting have been great ice breakers that have enabled us to show affection and relate to Jen at a very basic level. Ambushing Kristy with pillows after she emerges from the bathroom always gets a huge grin from Jen. Now we are transitioning to the more traditional roles of parenting -- setting boundaries and setting the groundrules for life. The situation has put a lot of expectations on Jen -- we are in public constantly to eat, to shop, for adoption procedures, etc. She has behaved spectacularly but it will be nice to finally be home where she can just be a little girl without so many burdens placed upon her. There we expect to see yet another side of her.

You may wonder what one does in Guangzhou for two weeks. The actual adoption procedures here require less than a few hours stretched out over 3 or 4 days. Once we got Jen, we had to return to the adoption offices for some very brief paperwork to finalize her adoption. After a quick trip to a health clinic for a routine check of vital signs, etc. we went to another office to receive her adoption decree. Ever since then, our guide has handled the remaining issues which pertain to obtaining a passport for Jen and a visa from the US Consulate. We'll make a trip tomorrow to the consulate for Jen's sake and then we are free to leave China.

In between those required procedures, we have shopped and shopped, shopped and shopped some more...did I mention shopping? Not that we have bought that much but it is what one does to pass the time. Not that I am complaining because sometimes I go shopping on my own -- I enjoy just being here and experiencing life here. Guangzhou is the mandatory stop for all US citizens who are bringing home adopted children. With 7,000+ children headed to the US each year, that means some 7,000 families pass this way with money and time to spend as they wait. As a result, an entire cottage industry surrounding adoption has sprung up in this little corner of Guangzhou --- perhaps 10 blocks long and 5 blocks wide. Shops and more shops of baby clothes, Chinese arts and crafts, luggage, laundry services and various stores support the flow of Americans and others who come and go. Most storekeepers speak some English and they are eager to show you their wares. Buying is a game of haggling and those who enjoy haggling would enjoy the game here. Guangzhou is not a tourist destination for Westerners so by and large, if you are in this quarter and are American, you are here to adopt a baby. Shop clerks want to know your child's name, home province, age, etc. Most presume that Jen was adopted years ago and that we have returned for seconds. Many speak to her and comment on her beautiful looks.
I guess I am partial but I think cuteness and beauty is a special gift that God has given to these little babies and children.

During our time, we have seen a few museums, visited the zoo and saw a beautiful mountainside garden (Yun Tai Gardens, I think). The highlight of the zoo was the giant panda who was eating bamboo. The gardens were beautiful -- worth a visit to anyone who comes, I think. Otherwise we have been studying English in the room. Jen has also been doing paint by numbers, a simple needlepoint for beginners and watching Doraemon and Tom & Jerry (popular here).

Each day has been about the same with respect to our schedule. We have a final day today of shopping before we try to pack tomorrow. We have met some nice American families from all over who are adopting as well. The hotel buffet is the gathering ground for families and I would say on any given day that 1/2 of the people we see there are Americans. This is a 5 star hotel of 25+ stories. In terms of total Americans here at any given time it is hard to say. We are seeing maybe 20 families at breakfast. They come and go as they arrive from the provinces with their bundles of joy and then fly out to the States. It is an amazing thing. We have been here long enough now to see an almost complete turnover of families.

I'll post again this morning. Pictures are still a problem -- I am sorry. I so wanted to post them and will try again before we leave.

12/25 A Christmas Gift

Merry Christmas to everyone. We hope you are having a wonderful holiday with those you love.

This Christmas, Kristy and I received a treasured gift for Christmas. It was the gift of love. But the gift wasn't for us -- it was for us to give away. It was a gift that cost us nothing but is worth everything. The gift came to us but was always intended for another person.

We gave the gift to Jen. Never has giving a gift felt so wonderful. It is the kind of love that enables you to love a child you have never met and know little about. It is the kind of love that keeps you up at night -- wondering from far away how she is and what she is doing.

Last night on Christmas Eve, Jen lay snuggled between her bear and her pig in between us as we watched "The Polar Express". She was basking in the love that was surrounding her. The more love we give her, the more she soaks in.

That is all that I need to say tonight. We received a great gift and were able to give it away to a child. I never knew it would be like this. Her smile tells the tale. No more words are necessary.

Tonight in Guangzhou, China, a little girl will lay in her bed cuddled up to her bear and know that she has a Momma and a Daddy. And when she wakes, we will be there to greet her. That is a Christmas gift that is too great for words.

Merry Christmas !!

12/25 Visit to Jen's orphanage

Hi everyone,
We want to wish you a Merry Christmas from Guangzhou, China!! We have had a wonderful day here. I want to catch you up on what has been happening here. Thank you for your love and prayers. They are bearing fruit as things continue to go so well for Jen, Kristy and I.

I wanted to tell you about our visit to Jen's hometown last week as it was a very important journey for us. Ever since we began to plan our trip to China, we had hoped to visit her orphanage in Zhuhai -- a city by the sea which has a thrived due to the economic boom in this province. You can watch a promotional video of the city on this blog (it launches a YouTube clip). Zhuhai is a modern city but still has the mix of old and new like so many other places we have seen.

On Thursday, Dec 20th, we took a van with our guide to Zhuhai (about 2 hours). The countryside is dotted with factories and they are building more and more infrastructure to support the growth. Since our guide and driver were not familiar with the location of the orphanage, it took a while to negotiate the streets to locate it. While they were looking, Kristy noticed that Jen began to smile as she realized we were nearby. As we turned in to the drive, she was grinning. At that point, her smiles were few and far between so this was a welcome sign. To give you a bit of history, it was our dear hope to go inside the orphanage. That was a privilege that I was looking forward to. So along the way our hopes rose and fell and we heard we couldn't get in and then that we could and then that we could not, etc. In the final days before departure, we go a definitive no to our great disappointment. However by then, we were so close to getting Jen that its importance had faded somewhat.　

Emotionally, I　ｈａｄ　ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｆｏｒ　ｂｅｉｎｇ　ｕｎａｂｌｅ　ｔｏ　ｅｎｔｅｒ　ｔｈｅ　ｏｒｐｈａｎａｇｅ．　Ｓｏ　ｕｐｏｎ　ａｒｒｉｖａｌ，we hopped out of the van and Jen, though smiling, was "stand offish" as we walked up. The orphanage director and several staff came out to greet us. We exchanged greetings and told her that we knew a number of parents of children from Zhuhai and that we were aware that more were being adopted soon. She said, in fact, that 4 children were at the photo shop getting pictures made in preparation for their adoption. Jen responded to the staff but was mostly indifferent which we have come to realize is her demeanor around adults in public. I took some pictures and thought how odd I felt -- I had dreamed of this moment but it wasn't exactly how Ｉhad　ｉｍａｇｉｎｅd it.　Ｉwas thinking that music would be playing in my mind with a great swell of emotion to go along. Instead it seemed normal to be there for the both of us and for Jen it was if she had already come to terms with leaving the orphanage. No tears or sadness for her. So then two exciting things happened which were unexpected. First，we noticed their bulletin board outside the gate and on it were the pictures of a number of children we recognized. In fact, we knew them by name (and their parents) from our Internet group. We had been following these children via their parents for months and months. I began to snap as many pictures as possible. We were so excited. Rattling off names and seeing them --- asking Jen to verify who they were...it was awesome. We saw a picture of a girl that we know about who turned out to be Jen's best friend and bedmate. Capturing those images was a thrill for me -- it was kind of the holy grail of what we hoped to see (except for seeing the girls in person). Before we left, they invited us inside the gate to use the restroom. I was surprised but we accepted the offer. Then the orphanage director offered to show us Jen's favorite tree. We walked around the corner and up Jen climbed. It was a citrus tree with little green fruit that looked like limes. The director stood beside for a picture. Jen grinned.
In that moment, there was something healing about watching Jen come back to her tree as a visitor and no longer as a resident. The fact that there was fruit in the tree conveyed the idea of healing to me...making me think about the fruit trees in Revelation that are for the healing of the nations.

As quickly as it all began, we expressed our gratitude and goodbyes and left. Jen walked away with us -- away to her new life. There were no sad goodbyes. A new orphanage is being built and if we are able to return someday, her home for the first 10 years of her life will just be a memory for her.

In reflecting upon those moments, I realized that I didn't need to go inside. Jen didn't need us to go inside. She just needed us to come get her. I told her tonight over a cup of noodles that on Saturday, we are going to "meiguo" (America). She nodded with a knowing approval. She is ready to go. In her heart, she has been ready for a long time. It was evident on adoption day that this little girl was prepared for the road ahead wherever it led and whatever it meant for her. That was an answer to prayer - such an answer. She has many mountains yet to climb but she made it over the first big one. She has left Zhuhai and that life behind. Tonight as we walked the streets of Guangzhou, she grabbed our hands and swung between us. We looked at the Christmas lights and jumped and ran and giggled.

We will never forget the love and kindness the caretakers of Zhuhai gave to Jen. They have given her so much and for that we are very thankful. The China chapter of her life is almost over...we have a few more pages to write here and then it is off to America. Zhu Hai Zhen has left Zhu Hai behind and now she is just Jen...a citizen of China and soon to be a citizen of a new world.

12/23 Things are going very well here

We have finally finished all our paperwork and tours and have a week to ourselves before we come home so I have time to blog again. Thank you for checking in on us. I want to pick the story from last Monday 12/19 and let you know how the week has gone.

As I wrote before, we met Jen on Monday and she was in shock as you can imagine. We had prayed that she would be brave and she was. Our Chinese guide/facilitator saw her in the waiting room before we met her and said she was doing great. The actual meeting was in a crowded room with many families waiting on their babies. After some pictures and the exchange of gifts with the orphanage vice director, we left for the hotel. I've written previously about Jen's first moments at the hotel in a previous post. So this is where I'll begin tonight.

Kristy and I studied Chinese for about 3 months before coming it has been very helpful. Just so you understand, we can't speak Chinese or communicate with adults but we learned enough so we could talk to Jen. She was able to understand us when we said simple phrases like "do you understand?", "do you need to use the bathroom?", etc. So on that first day we tried our best to say what we could. We walked her around the hotel and showed her the waterfall and the Christmas decorations. Then we came upstairs and let her choose an outfit to wear to dinner.
At first, she had difficulty with more than 2 choices. A choice from 3 options was too much for her. But she enjoys picking either this or that shirt, the pink vs the red pajamas, etc. On Monday evening, we met our guide for dinner at a nice Chinese restaurant just down the street from the hotel. We posted 1 picture from the meal. By then, she was comfortable enough to eat an entire meal. Our guide, who has been fantastic, talked to her throughout the meal although she would only respond with a headshake or not at all. She is extremely shy in public and it takes a while for her to speak to adults although many try to engage her. When they speak Cantonese she usually acknowledges them but rarely responds. We are not sure whether that is just her personality or if it is something else...the orphanage said she was very quiet.

On Monday, we tried to follow the routine she had in the orphanage so she took a bath and got ready for bed on her own. We showed her the bed and she crawled right in with her bear beside her. She was not speaking at that time or making eye contact. She let us touch her but wasn't engaging us at all. I held her hand a lot on day 1 just to comfort her as we walked around but her grip was very loose. We went to bed just so amazed that she was doing so well all things considered.

On Tuesday, we began what has become our usual routine of going to the breakfast buffet overlooking the Pearl River. This has been a blessing because she likes the food (Chinese and American offerings) and it has given us some much needed structure. The serving dishes are labelled in Chinese and English so that has helped us and her. She can read (in the 3rd grade) and can make decisions about food choices with no trouble. The buffet gives us tranquil and dependable start for each day. That morning, we had to go through a short interview with the local officials to finalize her adoption. Then we took Jen to see the doctor because she arrived from the orphanage with something like bronchitis. We are still watching that but for now we aren't treating it -- she is not showing symptoms except for a cough. They don't do a thorough medical check so that will have to wait until we return to Houston.

Jen has been a super compliant child and wants to please us. I think part of it is that she was told to be that way by her caretakers as they prepared her for adoption. But I think it is mostly because she is truly a sweet child that has a wonderful heart. I told Kristy that she is the kind of child I wish I could have raised. If my natural born 10 year old was this well behaved and had this kind of sweet spirit, I would be very thankful. We have the orphanage staff to thank for placing such a well-raised child in our care. I think about Paul's words to the Corinthians when he is talking about the role that he and Apollos had in shepherding the church... he said...I planted, Apollos watered but God gives the increase. What I mean is that Jen's life is a gift that began in the care of others and now the job of raising her has been transferred to us. We are thankful for the job they did and hope we can do as well as they have done to raise her up to be a sweet young woman.

Tuesday was a typical day for the week....very busy...and Jen was doing very well but not talking and not engaging us. We met again for Chinese food that night with our guide. Jen has immaculate table manners and it is a marvel...really. She eats slowly like Kristy and enjoys her food.

Wednesday we got the final adoption decree and then went clothes shopping for Jen. That was an experience -- we went to Chinese equivalent of Macy's and found some nice clothes for her. There are lots of baby items near our hotel but for children her age we needed to go a store like this. Then we went to McDonald's -- it was her first time.

I still can't post pictures but am trying...

I'll pick up the rest of the week in the next post. The highlights of the week so far have been going to church 2 times, meeting a couple from SC who adopted a little girl and the breakthroughs we have had with Jen in the last 3 days.

To give you a preview: Jen is calling us Momma and Daddy, hugging us, having the time of her life in the bathtub, correcting our Chinese, learning English daily and she is bonding to us.
She followed along today in church and understand way more than us as it was largely in Mandarin with English translation.

Will post more soon

12/18 Gotcha Day Reflections

First let me say thank you for visiting. It has been difficult to find the time to post but now I will hopefully be able to catch up on things. It couldn't be more wonderful here and we are having the time of our lives with our precious little girl.

I'll mention a few things and then go back and catch up. Our daughter is known by about 3 names: Hai Zhen, Pian Pian and Zhen Zhen. Since we have chosen to call her Jen (same pronunciation as her Chinese name but with an American spelling), we can now add Jen Hope to the list. Depending on her mood and ours, we are using most of them interchangeably. Pian Pian is the nickname given to her by the orphanage and it means essentially "side sleeper". Last night I wanted some better rest so I took Jen's roll away bed and she slept with Kristy in the king size bed. Kristy turned on the light to show me the proof that Jen is indeed a side sleeper. She was perpendicular to the pillows with her feet against Kristy's side most of the night.
We know that her best friend and bed mate's sweet personality must have taken it all in stride sleeping with Pian Pian all those years.

Jen took what may have been her first bathtub bath tonight and she was so excited. The Cantonese kept bubbling out which was a joy to hear. If ever a child wanted to be adopted, it is our Hai Zhen. She has bonded with us and is now calling us Momma and Daddy. We have spent the last few days playing in the room...pillow fights, Uno, Go Fish and more pillow fights. We mailed her a teddy bear with clothes in November and she was holding it on adoption day. We brought pajamas for it and every night at bedtime she changes the bear's clothes along with her own. Tonight for the first time, she answered the question, "What is your bear's name?" She has named it "Shuma"... we don't know what it means yet but will find out in time. That bear has been a great thing. It was a bridge between us when we were in the US and she loves it dearly already.

We are having image posting problems again. The website is unaccessible in China but I can post with mixed results. Will get some more on the site as soon as possible.

Before I catch you up on things, I wanted to go back and reflect on Monday (Gotcha Day).

At 7am on Monday, we went down to breakfast and sat once again overlooking the Pearl River -- contemplating what would happen in a few hours. I stared blankly thinking about Jen as she was making her way from the orphanage which is 2 hours down river from Guangzhou. She was leaving the orphanage for the last time and couldn't even imagine how difficult this all must be for her.

As we sat quietly, a lady at the table next to us was feeding a Chinese infant. Eager to talk, she apologized for disturbing our quiet moment. When we told her we were just a few hours from meeting our daughter, she excitedly told us her story. Her daughter was from central China and had pneumonia. She was in the pediatric field so she was handling that OK. The conversation was encouraging and we were glad to meet someone who shared our feelings. She said she would pray for us as we met Jen. Back in the hotel room, we were literally pacing the floor and Kristy's heart was racing. She said she had never been that nervous and it had been many years since I felt anything like that. At times in the process, we felt like we were jumping out of the plane without a parachute because as others have said, adoption (and parenthood in general) is a leap of faith. You don't know what you are getting...we had a 1 yr old photo and a two word description of her personality. There are so many unknowns...you just have to leap.

Anyway, those last moments were maybe something like standing outside a delivery room. The nerves, the anticipation, the apprehension, the joy...all rolled into one.

We have already written about what happened next when we met Jen. But here is a thought we wanted to share for others who might consider adoption. If you believe God has called you to it and that He is in it, then don't be afraid to take that step. Our story was a little unusual -- first time parents adopting a 10 yr old. It didn't fit the pattern and that was a source of some heartache for us along the way. We were stepping into some unknown territory without meaning to. There was a point in the process when we had to make a blod step and I remember crossing Lake Woodlands after work one day crying out to God saying, " I will not let her go unless you make me let her go". It was a desperate moment. I had been thunderstruck with Jen and was holding on with all my might to the hope of bringing her home to us.

It was maybe 5 days later that we made the decision to adopt her. The next day, I called Kristy one last time before calling the agency. There would be no turning back from then on. I called the agency and took a walk along the canal by the building where I work. And as I walked along, I could see in mind's eye the vision of a little girl skipping along in front of me. It was then I knew for certain that this decision had been a no brainer from the start. Our heart had always been to give a home to a child who needed one. Jen was the one who needed it and that would become so very evident once we got her.